Brothers…and Me (Part Two)-I Couldn’t Have Asked for More

October 7th, 2011.  I was crying off and on before I ever touched ground in San Francisco.  It was hard to believe after months of anticipation I had left Maycee in Santa Barbara with her dad so I could board a little plane bound for reunion.  Literally, there is no way to describe the emotions.  They just flowed like running water, like waves in the ocean, coming and going, one to the next, in and out, no visible seam.  When the plane landed I became more and more nervous.  Walking through the terminal, looking at all of the would’vebeenreallyneat displays of vintage televisions and I Love Lucy photographs, calling Dad on my cell phone to let him know I was there, my hands became sweaty and my heartbeat tiny and fast.  Down the escalator, out through the doors, onto the sidewalk, horns honking, cars swerving, I waited.  I missed Maycee.  I wished she was by my side so I’d be distracted with her excitement, the oooooh’s and ahhhhh’s only a child can express amidst total chaos.   

In a matter of minutes (that seemed to be hours) a dark green Lexus appeared with three men, looking at me through the windows.  There they were: Dad…and…my…brothers.  As Dad got out of the car to help me with my bag (only one backpack–master packer I am), I hugged him.  He opened the backseat door.  Time was up, oldest brother was in the back with me, second oldest driving the car, introductions…a weekend that would change my life forever began, and it was wonderful.

Older brother, Dad, me, Oldest brother

We came to play!

Smiling faces even with CU being left in the dust

I love you, Dad, and I couldn't have asked for more.

 

You never know what life will bring. Sometimes...it's brothers.

 I experienced the true chemistry of family relating with two men I didn’t know but found I knew just as well.  I was lucky enough to grasp little snipits of time with each one individually, saying only a few words about the past, and then move on, all of us eager to build on this beginning.  I found that I was grateful I was at this age, not younger and lesser wise, because the reasons and details of whowhatwherewhenwhy didn’t matter to me.  Why should they?  Can anything change the past?  No.  No.  No.  So, being settled, being one with myself, believing that letting go of hurts is the only way to trudge ahead, not judging anyone lest I might as well be judged, stories were shared, common threads revealed, and laughter abounded through every hour spent together.

Ultimately, my dear ol’ dad choked up…I felt his heaviness lift and hopefully fly away, years of holding us back suddenly gone.  Children from two completely different books in his life bonding like siblings should. Before saying goodbye we vowed to keep in touch and to let each other know when we were going to be able to see each other again.  More chances to learn, more chances to grow, and more chances to enjoy being brothers and sister.  It was an amazing weekend that left me soaking up the beauty and revelry of life.

I have many beliefs and much, much more to learn, but this, this I must pay forward:

Do not let the past determine your present.

Do not let the past determine your present.

Do not let the past determine your present.

Because if you do, imagine all of the presents you will indeed never receive.

Readers, I’m so grateful for you whether you read via a WordPress subscription, Facebook friendship, or just log in to see what’s happening with this SWM.  To be able to share my experience, strength, and hope no matter how trivial or how monumental is a blessing.  So, with that, please, be happy and give a chuckle because life…is…short.

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10 responses

  1. Thank you for sharing your incredible experience! Those pictures and the beaming faces say it all.

    “So, being settled, being one with myself, believing that letting go of hurts is the only way to trudge ahead, not judging anyone lest I might as well be judged, stories were shared, common threads revealed, and laughter abounded through every hour spent together.”

    This was absolutely beautiful.

    “Do not let your past determine your future.”
    Wise words to always live by.

  2. Kasey, I have been dying to find out how your meeting went and I almost emailed you last night. Then I told myself…leave it another day; maybe it was hard or not what she expected, surely it was emotional I though. Now, I am emotional reading this BEAUTIFULLY written, so touching, so from the heart account of your life changing event. So wise you are for being able to see all the goodness in this. God Bless You, Maycee, your Dad and your newly found brothers. May you all live in peace. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this!!!!

    • Thanks so much, Karen! Truthfully, I knew you and others would be wondering how things went, and each day that passed last week I felt awful that I couldn’t get the post done. I came back from my wonderful weekend with work being incredibly busy. So, by the end of my long days and the usual tasks that come with school work, chores, dinner, etc, etc, I was beat. Add to that the emotional factor, and well… I also had my first parent-teacher conference Thursday night for Maycee (also super news) and a friend visiting over the weekend (yes, I know how to pile it on!) Ultimately I knew I needed a nice, quiet moment to write about this, which I made happen last night. I’m so thankful for your support and care. Isn’t it the neatest thing to connect in this way from coastline to coastline? I love the WordPress community; truly a blessing! Thanks, again!

  3. It sounds like an amazing journey!! I’m glad you had a chance to meet. My children have older siblings, 3 brothers and a sister from their father’s previous relationships. They have a relationship with their sister, and my daughter has met one of her brothers but they don’t know the other 2.

    I hope that one day they can have first-meet/family reunion as warm as your was.

    Thanks for sharing!

    • Yes, it was quite an experience. I hope, too, that your kids get to meet the others. I have two more siblings to meet: one more brother and another sister. I’m thankful I got to spend time with the two to start so that I could have quality time with them. I’ll look forward to meeting the others, and certainly hope for the best. 🙂

  4. Pingback: Contemplating my “zoo” and looking forward to 2012 « Single Working Mom (SWM)

  5. Wow! I’m so glad that the meeting was everything you’d hoped it would be. I know several families who learned about similar half-siblings and some had wonderful, bonding experiences while some led to deep resentments. So happy this has enriched our life. You allowed your father to leave his secret behind. What a blessing.

    • I think that everything has been so positive in large part due to the fact that my brothers have not held any resentments towards my dad and have been open and willing to have relationships with him despite the way things were handled. I’m amazed by this, truthfully, as I’ve had much guilt since finding out about them in my teens…why did my dad choose to stick around for me? Anyhow, more will be revealed…I saw my oldest brother for the second time this past Memorial Day and wrote about our visit if you want to follow along…Thanks, again, for commenting and visiting!

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