I’m on the right track. I have a cup of tea, it’s only 9:40PM, and I’m not suffering from a tension headache for the first night in about a week. This is good. I’ve also promised myself that I am not going to worry about everything being perfectly spelled or perfectly perfect in this blog entry. Not tonight. I’ve consulted with Buddha, and it is time for me to practice mindfullness, and I’m not joking. I’m dead serious. I love You, Jesus, but I need some more help right now, and I think Buddha is the man of the moment. Well, he is most certainly the man of the present.
Last week, for the first time in a very, very, very (lots of very’s) long time I became more overwhelmed than my normal SWM overwhelmed self. I felt it throughout my entire body. From my toes to my temples. Sunday began with a pile of dishes in the sink that didn’t get washed up completely until Monday night…that stayed in the dishwasher drying rack (no, my dishwasher doesn’t work, only my hands) while I began to try to tackle laundry. The laundry ended up spanning until Thursday, well beyond my typical two-day quota of moving one batch to the dryer, washing the next, folding, and then finally putting it all away at least by the third day in the hours before, during, and after the short amount of minutes I’m still awake after getting home from work and putting Maycee to bed. No, I still had a few neatly stacked piles awaiting their destinations by Thursday. Come Friday morning, even though I had taken the day off without pay because Maycee was off school for Veteran’s Day, I was up at 4:45 deciding that I must clean my bathrooms because Geez Louise I hadn’t thoroughly cleaned them in over two weeks, and it was BUUUUUGGGGGGING me. I had the energy, of course I did! So, I did it! And, just as I was crawling back into bed by 6:00, Maycee woke up, an hour earlier than she normally does. Hmmmmm, yes, something became very clear to me at that moment…Well, not at THAT moment…I had too much to do, ha, ha! I guess later over the weekend…(intentional segue, pause…reflecting…pause)
We went down south to stay at Mom’s so that I could take a notary class that was ALL DAY Saturday. It was a must for me, as my commission expires in December, and even though I only use it part-time, I do use it. It provides me additional income that comes in seemingly when I most need it. There’s no way out of the 6-hour class; it’s mandatory in the state of Cali. Ugh. Saturday, 5:30AM I was up, map in hand, heading to Burbank and returned at 6:30 that night. I was able to spend a bit of time with the family before getting the kiddo washed up and ready for bed. She wanted to sleep with Grandma, so I had the rest of the evening to read quietly (in my old room, ahhhhhhhhhh, smile, BIG smile).
Next to the bed my mom keeps a couple of books. One is titled, Wherever You Go, There You Are. I love the title, but I’ve had a hard time in the past getting into the book. The other book is titled, Mindfulness for Everday Living by Christopher Titmuss. I opened it up. I read. I even started with the Preface; I never do that. I usually just jump to the chapter and dig in, if I take time to read a book at all-EVER. I have read some Buddhist writings in the past. I know that within Buddhism there is a focus on the now and a means to finding peace with one’s self as well as the world around us. This is about all I know, so I won’t say much more lest I make a false claim.
As I read the pages in the beginning, I got to a part that spoke volumes. Here is what it said, and I’m paraphrasing a bit, “Buddhism…reminds us that to live mindfully is to live wisely, so that we avoid having to keep clearing up the confusion we generate through heedless behavior.”
Last week was confusing and heedless. I allowed all of the thoughts running through my brain about what I wasn’t doing or thought I should be able to accomplish get in the way of the simplest of tasks that I could have finished one at a time instead of multitasking myself into oblivion. Therefore, I became overly stressed (overly, yes, because I think I always feel some measure of stress regularly), tired, weary, and chaotic (albeit mostly in my head). I am only one woman, Kasey, not two, three, or four!
Buddha, I need you right now. I need to practice this concept of mindfulness. Jesus, I still need You, too, always, because I’ll be praying for the willingness to seek Buddha’s mindfullness. Can this work? I believe it can. I sat up in bed at my mom’s before closing my eyes with my back straight, my hands holding one another, the tips of my thumbs touching each other as the book instructed. I breathed in, I breathed out. I breathed in, I breathed out. I almost passed out. (Chuckle.) Then, I slept like a baby for over seven hours straight. When I awoke, the headache was finally gone. Gone. Thankfully, gone.
So, Readers, I didn’t get to writing last week for reasons that should now seem crystal. This week, well, it’s already out of the gate in better fashion. Short post tonight. I’ve kept to my own bargaining agreement. I’m almost done with my cup of tea. I will be reading my new book before bed, and I have an incredible feeling that I will sleep: peacefully: tonight: no headaches allowed.
Be mindful, be happy, and if nothing else, give a chuckle at this amazing life journey.