Contemplating my “zoo” and looking forward to 2012

December 30: Today’s Reminder*

There is so much to appreciate in this life.  I won’t waste another moment feeling sorry for myself.  “…the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”-Martha Washington

Last year, about this time, I was heading south to spend New Year’s weekend at home with my family, Maycee in tow, because my original plans to go out for the holiday with my boyfriend got cancelled unexpectedly.  It was mixed bag of emotions during the weekend as I made last-minute new plans with my best friend, instead, who lives down in that area.  I didn’t realize that New Year’s 2011 was going to be a precursor of greater disappointments to come.  And, they did.  One by one.   Actually, it became more of a continuom of the journey that had become my life, or seemingly so.

A believer in “signs”, I’ve realized that while “signs” do exist, I cannot rely on them fully to dictate my every emotion, my every move, my every minute.  Sure, 2011’s New Year’s was a semi-bust.  Sure, the first five months of 2011 appeared to hold one obstacle after another…but as the year continued, and I pressed on, as we all must do to face life on life’s terms, suddenly, there was a clearing in the mist.  And, then, the unexpected happened: 2011 shaped into one of the best years I’ve had in many a blue moon. Not because it was easy, and not because everything is totally hunky dory. But, simply put, I gained a small reprieve.

So, tonight, I comtemplate my “zoo”. 

I took Maycee to see “We Bought A Zoo” at the local old-time theater downtown.  Something within me wanted to see this movie-so much so, that after an already long day, as soon as we got home, I jumped onto my (new totally awesome) computer and checked to see where the movie was playing. Oh, my gosh, it’s playing in twenty minutes!  I hollered outside to Maycee-“let’s go!”  And, with only a quick potty break, we jumped into the car and joined the crowds already appearing to celebrate 2012’s pending arrival.

Now, I won’t spoil the movie for you, Readers, but I will tell you this: the main character (played by Matt Damon) is a single dad who buys an old house out in the country that is part of (you guessed it!) a zoo, and saving the zoo is part of the deal.  He does this in an attempt to help his little family heal from the death of his wife, to give them new hope, and he does it on a whim.  He lives his life by the motto that “sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of bravery.”  I love this. I absolutely love this!

Last New Year’s Eve I began to question the “twenty seconds of bravery” (felt more like twenty seconds of insanity) that lead to my “zoo”.  As the early part of 2011 unfolded, I second-guessed my decisions many times over, one to the next; however, somewhere deep down inside believing that although questioning, I was indeed making right choices. And, while my circumstances have improved in just a half a year’s time (and over the course of almost five), many of them are still very much the same.  But my disposition?  Well, I had to trade in my old model for a newer one.  Struggle and strife had to be looked upon as challenges and opportunities.  “Signs” had to be viewed and then processed without necessarily acting upon them.  Trusting my inner voice again became a necessary goal.

My “zoo”, the Yellow Submarine and all its glory, along with my two rescue dogs, one Garfield-sized putty tat, two firebellied toads, four goldfish, (no partridge in a pear tree) and my beautiful Maycee-who trumps all attitudinal teenagers these days- is functioning!  It’s functioning, and it’s improving!  It’s improving, and I’m appreciating!  I’m appreciating, and borderline enjoying! 2012, come on, come join us!

In review of the past year, here are some of my tell-taling posts that speak to the journey mentioned above:

https://singleworkingmomswm.wordpress.com/2011/05/13/the-definition-of-insanity/

https://singleworkingmomswm.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/metaphors/

https://singleworkingmomswm.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/you-get-what-you-need/

https://singleworkingmomswm.wordpress.com/2011/10/17/brothers-and-me-part-two-i-couldnt-have-asked-for-more/

And, pictures …

Definition of Insanity? Well, I have a new disposition that reads: Happy Endings!

Santa is a metaphor for believing in things unseen, that is, until they appear under the tree!

You get what you need, like really cozy fleece sweaters!

My Big Bro sent me a text message on the 25th that read: Merry Christmas, Sis! Too cool.

Must mentions as this year closes in:

Thank you, Mom, for everything, for loving me, for supporting me, and for being the one I can turn to above all others.  Thank you, Dad, for always coming through-even when I least expect it.  Thank you, my handsome man, for returning to me and for making my life richer than ever before.  Thank you, my friends, my church,  my co-workers, and my neighbors for being our village.  Thank you, Maycee, for being the engine that keeps me runnin’, for motivating me to endure when nothing else does, for being my little girl, the light of my life.  Thank you, Lord, for lessons that seem unbearable but draw me closer to You nonetheless, being a lamp unto my feet. And, thank you, Readers, for subscribing, reading, commenting, and allowing my words to have some meaning so that my head doesn’t explode.

Never say "never". I learned to ride horses in 2011. Now, what's on my list for 2012? Wait and find out!

Remember: life is short, be happy, and continue each and every day to give a chuckle in your own “zoo”. Happy New Year!

*Courage to Change

 
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7 responses

  1. Love this Kasey! Chock full of good stuff to think about. Reprieve, disposition, 20-seconds of bravery — learning to ride horses in 2011. Hannah loves to ride, I have always been a chicken. Hmm. Please, please keep writing! I don’t want your head to explode and you ALWAYS give me something to take with me. Happy New Year dear long-distance friend, Happy New Year. 🙂

    • Oh, thanks so much, Karen! I will indeed keep writing…I truly believe my blog is the catalyst that pushed me more deeply into acceptance and allowed me to work through the early part of 2011. It is truly a joy, and meeting you has been amazing! Hannah rides horses? Well, that is so awesome! Here’s to the new year, and here’s to nobody’s head exploding, LOL!

  2. 20 seconds of bravery, huh? I will have to take that under advisement! I am so glad you ended up in such a good place. I am hoping that somehow, someway, I can manage to muster up the courage to exhibit that bravery myself. Happy New Year SWM! Your words have been so inspiring to me…

    • Thank you, Tat2! I’m so grateful to have you as a Reader of my blog. That is inspiration in and of itself. And, you will indeed find that 20 seconds when you absolutely need it. We all have it-just sometimes buried deep down inside. Keep reading, keep writing, and keep moving forward-and here’s to sharing our experience, strength, and hope in 2012! Happy New Year you, too!!

  3. I’m also a huge believer in signs…it’s gotten me into trouble more than once! I see them as either little nudges or big shoves from the Universe. But we don’t always have to take them for face value, you know? That’s part of our free will.

    I really love this entry. It’s so hopeful and true.

  4. Pingback: Hit and Miss « survivingthemadhouse

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