SWM’s Tuesday Tidbits & Tips: Accepting the Wait

This edition of SWM’s TT&T pays homage to an old adage: Patience is a virtue. I tried to Google this for you all so we could learn together who first coined the phrase.  But, with over 143, 000, 000 results, I figure it best to let you Google it yourselves.  So, instead, I put two rounded spoonfuls of sugar AND poured 2% milk into the tea I heated on the stove (not a microwave) tonight before even suggesting that I’ve learned to do this.  I have, though.  I think.  Well, I’m making headway…and now I’ll share why…

The other night I was at my totally awesome b.f.’s house having dinner with him and his daughter and watching the ohsosad Lakers lose in the last few minutes of what would be their secondtothelast game of the season.  Just about every commercial played was advertising a smartphone, an IPad, or a Kindle showing how much they could do and how fast they could do it.  I got annoyed. Quickly.  One commercial in particular involved Samuel L. Jackson having a “conversation” with his phone, telling it what he needed “it” to do for him as “he” prepared to get dinner ready for, what I assume was, his date.  Ugh!  Agh!  I have no doubt that at some point in the future the techno-gods will be able to stamp those weird, scannable (is that a word?) app symbol thingies on our foreheads.  We won’t even need to talk to each other-we’ll already know what the other person is going to say and do just by holding our phones up and scanning! Wait a minute, no, never mind, don’t wait. I read your mind.  “Enough already!” I grumbled, sort of under my breath, but loud enough that my b.f. could hear me.

There seems to be nothing left to wait for.  Nothing.

Back when I was married to Maycee’s dad, we had a good financial life.  It was balanced.  We both worked hard for our money, and we didn’t overspend.  However,  we bought what we wanted pretty much when we wanted it.  We were able to finance cars, furniture, flooring, and the other items and steadily pay them off, if we didn’t pay for them outright.  When it came to “taking care of myself” spiritually and healthwise–gobs easier than it is now.  I could hit an AA meeting any day of the week, go shopping with my mom to have “girly time “, or drive to the beach with a latte for some quiet meditation.  Since becoming a single mother, it’s taken me baby steps to accept that unless I want to live frivolously and rack up an immense amount of debt, slough off my daily responsibilities, or ignore my child (YA, RIGHT!), I have to take a deep breath.  I have to wait.  I HAVE TO WAIT. And, regarding social media and knowing everything about everyone every second of every hour-I’m disengaging more than engaging lately.

I wanted to replace all of the carpet in the Yellow Submarine when I first moved in, but my income and my savings ran short.  Three years later, I’m still waiting for this to change, but I’m doing it.  I’m waiting.  I have a deck that is rotting beneath my feet; it needs fixed.  Each step leads to another “ccccraaaaack!” But, the extra cash?  Well, I’m waiting.  I’ve done what I can with what I have, and I’m waiting until I can do more.  New work clothes?  Waiting.  What about feelings…emotions I don’t like…I wait them through.  I accept that I’m feeling them, I don’t mask them with denial, and I wait for them to pass-because I can, and because they will.   What about making plans?  Sometimes I have to wait for that, too.  Catching up with friends, saving money, taking more riding lessons, seeing my folks more, taking a trip, not taking a trip (hee, hee), getting a dishwasher? WAITING.  And, you know what, Readers? I’ve come to have a certain amount of peace in this practice: the practice of accepting the wait.

Waiting for the right moment is so “old-fashioned” these days.  As the commercial during the superawful Laker game reflected, a smartphone will practically talk for you, order your dinner, open your front door, and turn the heat on in your house all with the download of an “app”. Why wait to buy a book or a CD when you can download it more quickly?  If you can’t get home to sit at your desk, use your IPad to see what you’ve missed in the last ten minutes!  No problem if you don’t have cash in the bank, you can always charge your purchase and worry later.  But, for me, as I  watch this world spinning by just a little too fast, waiting to talk when its my turn, ordering my own dinner-well, geez, actually cooking it, pushing open the front door load in hand with groceries dropping to the ground, and letting it get a bit cool in the house before I adjust the thermostat is alright.

REALLY.  IT’S ALRIGHT.

I’m not saying that eventually you won’t have to “just do it”.  Certainly different circumstances warrant a different response than the waiting game. However,  my small tidbit of advice today would be to allow yourself the beauty of making that a conscious decision, in what perhaps will be for your own greater benefit.  I have definitely come to learn than crappy faded carpet still cushions my bare feet. Who knew?

Do you, my fantastic readers, have any examples of “accepting the wait”, or are you going in a loop-de-loop at lightening speed, nearly flying off the rail?

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4 responses

  1. I would love a Smart phone. It would be convenient to pick up my email, check my Facebook (aka Crackbook) & work on my blog anytime, anywhere. However, I can’t afford one either. Nor do I wish to get locked into an outrageously expensive “plan”. The other thing – I don’t really need one. And I think that’s a big issue too. Not only do we not have patience anymore, we also believe we NEED everything they’re peddling on TV. At least Macey will respect the concept of waiting until you can pay cash for something. And that’s a big thing to teach your child. Way to go SWM! lots of love – from The Madhouse

    • Yes, Holly, you are right. These “connect us now” items cost a lot of money, and they also cost a lot to maintain on a monthly basis. I guess that’s great if you have the money to do it, but like you said, I’m not so sure about that either. It is important to me that Maycee learns that it’s okay, and we can survive, if we don’t get everything we want rightaway and that notall situations can be solved instantaneously. Patience is important and has a payoff all of its own on so many levels.

  2. I accept the wait although my back on this air-mattress doesn’t appreciate it as much as my mind does. Patience builds character and appreciation. 🙂 Great post, Kasey!

    • Ha, I totally know what you mean, Karen! I’ve been sleeping on a $90 daybed mattress from a discount store that sinks in the middle and has no support…going on 3 years now! I know this: when I finally get to buy a good mattress, it’ll be party-throwin’ time, LOL! 🙂 Thanks for the share!

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