It’s a High-Five Morning (and My 100th Post)!

Yesterday I posted on Facebook that as a parent it is my job to continue thinking outside of the box when it comes to my child.  I say this because with everything that has been going on with my kiddo, it’s easy to get caught up in “the way things used to be”. It’s easy to waste a lot of energy WISHING that our life would whip back into shape and the unfamiliar would disappear into the good ol’ familiar. 

Just when I think I can’t handle one more variable of change lest I might disintegrate into a million broken mommy pieces out of frustration, something kicks up inside of me and says, “SNAP OUT OF IT, WOMAN!”  Yes, this loudly the command roars within my mind, and the gears begin turning, filtering ideas that might work to help bring about positive reinforcement through what is generally considered a negative event: the dreaded school-refusal tantrum.

The past two mornings I’ve decided to use high-fives.  I mean, how positive are those, right?  My kiddo works through her anxiety to do something she doesn’t want to do, and immediately I run up to her and say, “GIVE ME FIVE!  You did a great job!” (Referring to getting dressed for school, for example.)  Now, this doesn’t mean we had zippo tantrumming (especially today).  Nah, we had some major door slamming and banging going on along with the predictable, “You’re being so mean! It’s all your fault Buttface (her anxiety) is huge!” She was mad at me for “not doing the tools with her” and not giving her more chances (I said three were enough, and well, I was right).

But, in the split second the storm calmed…up in the air went my hand, and SLAP! went the sound of skin on skin…and slowly thereafter another….and another, “Hey, awesome!  Give me five!”  SLAP! And….slowly thereafter…a small smile formed…then a little peace and quiet entangled with hair doing, teeth brushing, and backpack wearing.

We walked to the car-no child lock necessary today. All the way to school, with KLOVE on the radio, I continued to give positive praise and a couple more high-fives just to make sure we were on the right track (more smiling).   When we got to school I actually was able to park and walk with my girl hand in hand to the office to check-in–the second time this week. It wasn’t necessary to pull up right in front and take a tight grip to ensure she wouldn’t try to run away.  Big progress!  Who cares about how it used to be?  Big progress for the here and now!

It was a high-five morning, and as I logged on to tell y’all about it I realized that the celebration of this out-of-the-box thinking was happening for my 100th post.  Well, hippee ki-yay and hurray!

So, if you’re having difficulty with your child’s behavior, if you think you can’t handle another scream or yell or harsh word or slammed door (hypothetical or otherwise), command yourself to SNAP OUT OF IT, WOMAN (OR MAN)!  Get busy, get moving, get thinking, get creative, and remember to give you and your kiddo a big HIGH-FIVE for each and every positive step you take.

Totally worth it!

Totally worth it!

And, at the end of the day, perhaps just before you fall asleep, give a chuckle and be happy because life is waaaaay too short to settle for “I can’t”.

Here’s to SWM being 100 posts old!

XOXO,

SWM

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12 responses

  1. May your “high-five mornings” be frequent and many in all the days to come! Oy, no one ever said it was going to be like this. “Who cares how it used to be? Big progress for the hear and now.” I love this & need to remind myself of this. Often. Big hugs coming your way from NY. Keep on, keepin’ on my friend. xoxox

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