Christmas Lights (in May)

Yep, I know it’s strange to be writing about Christmas lights in May, but I am. I can. It’s my blog! And, here’s the reason: for the past two and a half months since Maycee’s diagnosis of Anxiety Disorder it’s like we’ve been fiddling with a strand of faulty Christmas lights. We were, at first, searching for the missing bulb.

“Where is it?!”

Then we realized a bulb wasn’t missing, and we had to get the string of lights to sit just right. Twist a little bit here, twist a little bit there…and then…the lights began to flicker. We could see what the whole strand would look like once it was completely lit!

“Wow, did you see that?!”

This week, after 6 therapy sessions and lots and lots of practice every hour of every day fighting “Buttface”, Maycee’s Anxiety Monster, we began implementing a potential 504 plan for her school day. The biggest obstacle in front of her? Starting the day in class and not at the office, and then staying in class all day including transitions.

“Mommy, look! The lights! They are all on now! What did you do? How did you make it work?”

And, “just like that” the string of Christmas lights were glowing. Each and every bulb: yellow, orange, green, blue, red, and purple lighting up every branch of the tree. Smiles began to peek through. The green pine needles began to shine under the brightly lit glass. Giggling, goofing around, looking forward to more positive and exciting discoveries surfaced. Maycee’s exact words: I know I’m getting better because I’m being silly again. I’m being more like my “old” self.

“How was your day, Bugga Boo?” “GREAT! I was in class all day by myself [without the principal checking in], and I barely worried because I was so busy. I EVEN participated in P.E. and got to choose what line I sit in!  I sat with Leslie [her bff].”

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree! You are so very lovely!

When the lights finally come on it feels so good; makes me want to find more strands to fiddle with…especially some of my own.  How ’bout you?

Honestly, it doesn’t hurt to be in the Christmas spirit all year long, and with 90 degree temps on tap for today I think I’ll look for a palm tree to decorate. 

Life is short, so keep fiddling with the strands of faulty lights-don’t throw them away or give up. They are just waiting to shine and  light up the world, and while you’re working on them be happy, and give a chuckle.  Ha, ha, ha…ho, ho, hooooooo…



11 responses

  1. “It’s my blog and I’ll write if I want to ” is my motto as well. Don’t know any details but congrats on sticking with it on behalf of your Bugga-Boo. Another’ SWMom 🙂

    • Thanks for reading and commenting, Shandra. My daughter was diagnosed with Childhood Anxiety Disorder about 2 months ago, and it’s been a long re-building process of getting her integrated back into school fully. She missed many days of class due to panic attacks and severe tantrumming. She’s now receiving cognitive behavioral therapy since being properly diagnosed, and it’s very intensive work that pushes the child/person to face the anxiety rather than avoiding it, which feels like it is making it worse, but with each episode and pushing through it actually makes it grow less and less. It’s been a huge journey, and this week Maycee was fully integrated back into her class and it has been awesome! Thanks, again, for sharing! Single moms rock!! 🙂

  2. I always hate when the lights flicker, it gives me a headache. This though, this made made me smile. I am so glad Maycee is starting for find some peaceful moments and to get her anxiety under control. You all are doing so well together.

    • Thanks, Holly! It was great, and then this weekend she had a hard time at her dad’s and also contracted the flu! :( Been a difficult week thus far, but we’ll get through it. 🙂


      • Being sick is always a set-back but I know the two of you will deal with it beautifully. Here’s hoping for a great end of the week for you!

  3. LOVE! This is so beautifully & eloquently written, Kasey. You are such a great mama. Hope you have a wonderful day! Forever fiddling in New York….xoxox

  4. Pingback: A Promise and the Next Phase-Preventing Anxiety Attacks | Single Working Mom (SWM)

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