Each week I think about writing here many titles go through my mind. I have lots of stories that also go through my mind that I would like to share, and these stories prompt titles. If only there was more time, of course.
I thought that I would write about my experience in church this past Sunday. I was going to call the post “When in Church, I Cry”. It doesn’t seem to matter how long I’ve been a Christian (and compared to many-not long at all), but when I enter a church-any church-I get emotional. I can be in a good place, a bad place, or an indifferent place, but when I enter the sanctuary it happens. The preacher may stink, but I still hear a message. The music may not be “my style” but I still sing a song. I may feel an outcast, but I know deep down I’m not. My daughter has taken to watching me to see how long it takes before the tears start flowing…
I also thought I might write about the rain. It’s falling now, right now, pouring in gushes and cleansing the earth. We’ve needed it so badly, and I love listening to it. Last night we had a huge wind storm as the rain came, and it was scary. I envisioned the trees behind our house crashing down on the little Yellow Submarine, or the water lifting us up off the jacks and carrying us away down a newly formed river to another town. Once Maycee was asleep I turned off the TV and just listened. Snuggled up in a Christmas blanket on my tiny couch with the tree lit, I listened. The wind settled down, and the rain fell quietly as the night tick-tocked minute by minute. The title might have been….”Listen to the Rain”.
I enjoy my time to write as if I were a thief stealing a precious jewel and hoping no one notices.
Today I went to run an errand on my lunch break and found the grocery store to be closed due to a downed power line from the storm. This changed my plan, so I ended up buying grain for the horses instead of Christmas cards for the family. In the store my favorite clerk, Liz, was working. Liz has known me since we rescued our horse Fancy.
She asked me how I was doing and if was surviving the holidays so far. I looked at her with a cringed face and muttered, “Kind of…” I told her how when the holidays come my shoulders raise and I get so worried about how I’m going to keep up financially and still provide something nice for my kiddo under the tree. I put on a happy face and hum along with the Christmas Carols, but inside my tummy churns until December 26th. She said, “I know, I know. My husband and I keep things real simple since it’s just the two of us. We see what all of this (referring to the sale racks) does to people.”
I said that I try to do the same since it’s just me and Maycee, but it’s hard when I enter a store and find my eyes wandering, my hands touching, and my mind thinking “She’d like this” or “She’d like that” or “I wish I could just buy it!” I have to stay focused and shop like a speed demon-in and out-to avoid collapsing under pressure.
I reminisced about how when I was married to her dad, and we had two incomes, buying gifts was never an issue. Liz asked me, “And, how long ago was that?” I answered, “Almost seven years ago, and it’s never been easy since.”
Liz looked at me, smiling. She always has a twinkle about her. Then she said, “You hold on here a minute.” She walked away and grabbed a bag of horse cookies, my favorite brand, and said, “Here….give these to your daughter for her horse from me. You’re such a nice person; you deserve it.”
And, here goes the title for this write.
I may not have time to blog about every thought that crosses my mind, but whenever I can share the kindness of another, human nature so rarely experienced amidst a world of chaos and commerce, I must. It may be small to some, but it’s huge to me.
Readers, I hope you enjoy the weekend ahead, and remember: life is short, so be happy, and give a chuckle. Ho, ho, hooooooooo!