I have a post waiting in the wings (actually, on my laptop waiting to be moved to a flash drive so I can put it on here) that explains where I’ve been the past couple of months.
To preface, I have been diligently scouting the vineyards as we inch closer and closer to harvest. This job change has been the best thing I could have asked for and received at this juncture in my life. Being outside on a regular basis and in and amongst nature has fulfilled me in a way I never could have imagined had the Universe suggested it personally many moons ago.
But, on top of being one busy single mom working two physically demanding (at times) jobs, I’ve had quite a few thoughts rolling through my mind that I figured I would share just because I can.
For instance, Maycee is growing up too fast. TOO FAST. She is testing make-up as soon as I turn my back, she prefers “laying out” to building sand castles on the beach. She would rather stay home during summer break than go to the B & G Club and play “kiddie” games. And, she is asking me way too many grown-uppy questions that make me want to crawl into a rabbit hole, even though I woman-up and answer them because it’s important to be open about these things. Oh, and let’s not forget Instagramming and the fact that she receives requests from boys that were “just friends” last year in good ol’ 5th grade who now would like her to QUOTE-UNQUOTE date them because they will be entering 6th grade soon. You know what that means? If you do, please message me because I don’t see the difference from two months of summer, darn it.
Okay, the good news I’ve been pondering related to the previous paragraph is this: my budding pre-teen has informed me she is grateful her mom has had a crappy life when it comes to men! Ha! Not that she is glad her mom endured a lot of heartache, but she IS glad I’ve shared everything from my past (to a degree) with her so that she knows not to make the same mistakes. Back pedal, back pedal, back pedal. Truth be told, I am an open book for a reason, and the reason is crystal clear based upon these rapidly developing situations. She also has informed me that she thinks “dating” in grade school is “stupid” (agreed), and while she likes boys, she is not interested in following this peer-pressure-induced concept.
*Proud mom smiles.*
Speaking of my crappy love-life, in a mind-blowing weak moment back in late spring I decided to re-open my Match account. What was I thinking?!?!?! Two years later, two years older, and one short-haircut into newfound freedom here’s what I’ve experienced: tragic humiliation with a capital HHHHHH. Let me be clear that if it were not for the wonderful [married] male friends I have who prove that decent men exist on the planet, I would lose complete faith in the opposite sex. Stomach-curdling only partially describes many of the profiles I’ve read.
Jimbob, 45-year-old man seeking 22-year old woman. I’m athletic and toned and work out 8 days a week, consume 100 calories a day, and only drink to oblivion once in a while. I’m not interested in a NSA (No Sex Allowed) relationship, so if that’s you-do not message me. Oh, and speaking of messaging, because I am the most awesomest man on the planet, I’d rather we just meet in person and skip the messaging because if you are anything less than a Taylor Swift look-a-like, you are not worthy of my time. Thanks, and best of luck, 40-something, short-haired single working mom-you’ll need it!
Match.com stinks. Totally stinks. Half-way through my esteem-busting 3-month membership I stopped looking. I had to remind myself of the definition of insanity…”Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”
Ahhhhh, back to my new old self, again.
Let’s focus on the actual love of my life.
You guessed it.
Yes, I have been loving my horse. Loving, loving, loving! I’ve taken to singing songs while I ride. I think Chief likes it. He seems to walk in time. One of my favorite songs to sing is to the tune of Macho Man, only I sing Macho Chief. You can hear me now, right? “Ma-cho, ma-cho, Chief….You’ve got-ta be….a Macho Chief!” Maycee is mortified when I do this, only making it that much sweeter.
We went horse camping and rode trails up rocks and the edge of mountains, and along (dry) riverbeds. My kiddo and I are riding together, even. TOGETHER. Without discourse. It has been exhilarating, and I have so much gratitude for the two horses we were given and for the riding journey we are traveling. It is mind-boggling-at the very least- considering from where we came over the last several years.
I’ll be heading up Maycee’s 4-H Horse group this year, too. Say what?! I know, I know…I don’t have enough on my plate, really. And, the kid will be starting AYSO for the first time in August. 4-H leader and a soccer mom? Goodie! Maybe I’ll learn to referee the games just so I can wear one of the bright yellow referee outfits. Hmmmm, that sounds like a grrrrreat idea!
So, I’m back in writing action for a little while in between bug hunting, checking grapes, mucking stalls, and trying to get a little summer beach action. Once harvest arrives, I will disappear again, but for now, I’m going to enjoy hitting the keys, eating Pop Tarts, and drinking coffee.
After all, I know I don’t have to worry about getting a date.
Life is short, folks, so be happy, sing a song, and don’t blink lest your 2-year-old becomes a soon-to-be 6th grader.
Love, hugs, and chuckles!