Where I’ve Been

It’s almost Christmas. Two days and three hours to go before Santa makes his way into our home (not down the chimney because we don’t have one-we leave him a key instead). For the past several weeks now I’ve been ill. Christmas fixings, decorations, cutting down the tree, putting up lights, and present buying having been sandwiched in between small bouts of minor wellness and lots and lots of crying and doctors’ visits. Because of sheer determination (and also a diagnosis that I was perfectly fine after an initial run of antibiotics-sorry Doc, big mistake!) I managed to get stuff done. However, my worst fear of not being able to take care of my daughter came closely to fruition almost two weeks ago when I landed in the ER with a bacterial infection that would not go away and had me in pain, dizziness, chills, and misery to the point of barely being able to walk.

What do you do when you are a single parent in the house alone with your child (who also happens to be home sick from school), you are too sick to walk or move, and you know deep down inside there is something very, very wrong?


That’s it. Another big fear of mine. Having to reach out for some major help. This went beyond just the typical, “Hey, Buddy, can you help me fix my busted water pipe? Sorry it’s New Year’s Eve.” This was big-time, HELP ME help. Luckily, I have some pretty awesome people in my life and was able to call on my amazing boss to get me to the hospital, stay with Maycee while they checked me out, and then get us home and settled with the proper meds. My dad drove three hours north the same night to make sure I was going to be okay, and then my neighbors called to let me know if I needed anything they’d be there. Even Maycee’s dad came up here for his visit instead of expecting me to drive south a week later as the medicines wreaked their own havoc on my insides and the infection lingered.

Yes, it was an ordeal, and yes, I have been unable to read, write, or think much about anything else except getting well. But, here I am, finally. Almost to the end of my third dose of antibiotics and feeling sort of back to normal on the heels of Christmas. My vacation plans for Disneyland and meeting Deb (TMIYC) were cancelled, and I spent many nights sobbing as I lay in bed wondering “why” and feeling sorry for myself. But, the truth of the matter is, it all worked out, and I learned many lessons, once again, about what is truly important. Maycee, well, she was scared to death about mama being sick. Sure, I’ve had colds and flus before, but nothing that knocked me so far down as this to the point of helplessness. She was also completely understanding about missing Disneyland. “It’s okay, Mama. I don’t mind. It’s okay.” Like I said, lessons in life on what is truly important.

It’s been a pretty rough road, and yet in the big scheme of the world, it’s been a short one. And, now, with the bitter taste in my mouth from the meds, I’ll be baking more Christmas cookies for Santa and preparing to spend this spiritual celebration with my little one. We’ll pray and give thanks for our blessings together, and all that’s transpired over the past few weeks will disappear with the unwrapping of boxes and bags Christmas morning. I know that I will be contemplating the whole situation over and over, planning to take better care of myself as I conjure up New Year’s Resolutions for 2013 and thinking of how many more people have way worse situations they’re dealing with than a crappy old infection. I’ll be praying for them, too. I will. People near and dear to me, and people far, far away.

I’m just glad to be back here. I’m glad to be up late at my computer with enough energy to write a post. (No cup of tea yet…but soon.) I’m glad I’m feeling better, and that what happened to me was curable. I’m glad that I can remember Jesus’ birth is the reason for the season, and that even if no presents were sitting under the tree we’d still be celebrating. I’m glad that I have you, Readers, to share these ups and downs with…to write what presses on my heart as well as what brings me joy.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and I’ll save my New Year’s wishes for my next post! I’m not quite up to chuckling about it all yet, but I do believe that life is short, and we need to be happy no matter what. Maybe if we can’t chuckle, we can turn up one side of our mouths to smirk…Hmmmmm…let me give it try. (Wink!)

Hugs and Love to you. XOXO-SWM


Black Cloud Be Gone!!!! (Classic SWM)

I highly doubt that too many employees have been given a sign such as the one reads above (minus the “Classic SWM), most certainly not by his/her boss. I’m one of the lucky ones. Or, rather, is it that I’m not so lucky? Lucky? Not so lucky? Well, geez, I just do not know, but I’ll side with the positive choice. I also just happen to go through what seem to be endless strains of unfortunate circumstances, varying in magnitude-some make me laugh out loud, some make me cry so hard my face becomes unrecognizable. .Which is why one sunny day, about a year and half ago, my boss called me into her office. Well, that’s not really why she called me into her office…backtrack…but I was in a “hitmewithyourbestshot” wave…the timing was beautiful. I walked in and there, taped to the wall behind the chair I was about to inhabit, was a sign. Rainbow letters, big and bold, shouted: Black Cloud Be Gone!!!! It was a day I will never forget, as my boss adorned me with the happy news that I had reached one week’s paid vacation and 6 days of sick pay status. Sing praises, hallelujah! Yes, Black Cloud, be gone with you, and right now. Since that day, whenever troubles seem to find me, and they often know my hiding places, I pull that sign out (of course I kept it).

Now, it’s sitting on my desk. Beneath my telephone. Staring at me.

Maycee’s been sick-very sick-for almost two weeks. This past weekend we had two ER visits encompassing an external ear infection, a viral fever, AND a common cold, none of which this mommy-nurse could disipher was causing the other, probably because in the end the doctor determined they were all completely unrelated illnesses. My poor baby’s body was just spent. In classic SWM fashion I fretted between being the best mom a working woman can be and being a working woman period. Classic SWM.

Add to that a strange bug bite (on my forearm) that hurt and itched all at once making an expanded red circle, a charley-horse the size of a golf ball stretching my right calf muscle beyond the bones, the check-engine light coming on in the car, and last-but-not-least, my outside waterhose faucet busting while trying to water the lawn and spewing water everywhere for an entire night…well, mommy’s body was done, too.

Nine days later, four days’ help from grandma-down-south later, and lots n lots of ear drops, Motrin, and fluids later, Maycee is indeed on the mend. Yesterday and counting, the bug bite is dwindling, the calf muscle is just about returned to it’s normal capacity, the check engine light was a false alarm, and the best neighbor ever fixed the faucet free of charge, Mommy is indeed on the mend, as well. Throw in a “I can’t handle the stress” shopping spree at our new Target last night (buyer’s remorse vacate the premises until bill time, please), even better.

Black Cloud, You’re Outta Here!!!!

Here’s to a fabulous, fretless weekend for us all. Be happy, and give a chuckle!