Pop Tarts & Coffee

I guess I could have titled this post “Candy & Soda Pop”, too.

Hiya, All!

I have a post waiting in the wings (actually, on my laptop waiting to be moved to a flash drive so I can put it on here) that explains where I’ve been the past couple of months.

To preface, I have been diligently scouting the vineyards as we inch closer and closer to harvest.  This job change has been the best thing I could have asked for and received at this juncture in my life.  Being outside on a regular basis and in and amongst nature has fulfilled me in a way I never could have imagined had the Universe suggested it personally many moons ago.

My “office”.

But, on top of being one busy single mom working two physically demanding (at times) jobs, I’ve had quite a few thoughts rolling through my mind that I figured I would share just because I can.

For instance, Maycee is growing up too fast.  TOO FAST.  She is testing make-up as soon as I turn my back, she prefers “laying out” to building sand castles on the beach.  She would rather stay home during summer break than go to the B & G Club and play “kiddie” games.  And, she is asking me way too many grown-uppy questions that make me want to crawl into a rabbit hole, even though I woman-up and answer them because it’s important to be open about these things.  Oh, and let’s not forget Instagramming and the fact that she receives requests from boys that were “just friends” last year in good ol’ 5th grade who now would like her to QUOTE-UNQUOTE date them because they will be entering 6th grade soon.  You know what that means?  If you do, please message me because I don’t see the difference from two months of summer, darn it.

Okay, the good news I’ve been pondering related to the previous paragraph is this: my budding pre-teen has informed me she is grateful her mom has had a crappy life when it comes to men! Ha!  Not that she is glad her mom endured a lot of heartache, but she IS glad I’ve shared everything from my past (to a degree) with her so that she knows not to make the same mistakes.  Back pedal, back pedal, back pedal.  Truth be told, I am an open book for a reason, and the reason is crystal clear based upon these rapidly developing situations.  She also has informed me that she thinks “dating” in grade school is “stupid” (agreed), and while she likes boys, she is not interested in following this peer-pressure-induced concept.

*Proud mom smiles.*

That’s right, honey, you just focus on your horse and all those ribbons!

Speaking of my crappy love-life, in a mind-blowing weak moment back in late spring I decided to re-open my Match account.  What was I thinking?!?!?!  Two years later, two years older, and one short-haircut into newfound freedom here’s what I’ve experienced: tragic humiliation with a capital HHHHHH.  Let me be clear that if it were not for the wonderful [married] male friends I have who prove that decent men exist on the planet, I would lose complete faith in the opposite sex.   Stomach-curdling only partially describes many of the profiles I’ve read.

Jimbob, 45-year-old man seeking 22-year old woman.  I’m athletic and toned and work out 8 days a week, consume 100 calories a day, and only drink to oblivion once in a while.  I’m not interested in a NSA (No Sex Allowed) relationship, so if that’s you-do not message me.  Oh, and speaking of messaging, because I am the most awesomest man on the planet, I’d rather we just meet in person and skip the messaging because if you are anything less than a Taylor Swift look-a-like, you are not worthy of my time.  Thanks, and best of luck, 40-something, short-haired single working mom-you’ll need it!

Match.com stinks.  Totally stinks. Half-way through my esteem-busting 3-month membership I stopped looking.  I had to remind myself of the definition of insanity…”Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”

My Match.com profile pic. Nope, no resemblance to Taylor. Shoot! Well, just bring me another Pop Tart, then!


SWM+Online Dating=Insanity.

Ahhhhh, back to my new old self, again.

Let’s focus on the actual love of my life.

You guessed it.


Yes, I have been loving my horse.   Loving, loving, loving!  I’ve taken to singing songs while I ride.   I think Chief likes it.  He seems to walk in time.  One of my favorite songs to sing is to the tune of Macho Man, only I sing Macho Chief.  You can hear me now, right?  “Ma-cho, ma-cho, Chief….You’ve got-ta be….a Macho Chief!”  Maycee is mortified when I do this, only making it that much sweeter.

We went horse camping and rode trails up rocks and the edge of mountains, and along (dry) riverbeds.  My kiddo and I are riding together, even.  TOGETHER.  Without discourse.  It has been exhilarating, and I have so much gratitude for the two horses we were given and for the riding journey we are traveling.  It is mind-boggling-at the very least- considering from where we came over the last several years.

I’ll be heading up Maycee’s 4-H Horse group this year, too.  Say what?! I know, I know…I don’t have enough on my plate, really.  And, the kid will be starting AYSO for the first time in August.  4-H leader and a soccer mom?  Goodie!  Maybe I’ll learn to referee the games just so I can wear one of the bright yellow referee outfits.  Hmmmm, that sounds like a grrrrreat idea!

So, I’m back in writing action for a little while in between bug hunting, checking grapes,  mucking stalls, and trying to get a little summer beach action.  Once harvest arrives, I will disappear again, but for now, I’m going to enjoy hitting the keys, eating Pop Tarts, and drinking coffee.

After all, I know I don’t have to worry about getting a date.


Single and content. See that lady behind me? All I’m missing is the umbrella!

Life is short, folks, so be happy, sing a song, and don’t blink lest your 2-year-old becomes a soon-to-be 6th grader.

Love, hugs, and chuckles!




Thank God for Blue Jeans and Bedtime Tea

(Written at 10:45PM, January 17)

Tonight, I know, I just know I’m going to dream about horses.  It was “one of those days”.  And, because it was “one of those days” I plan to enjoy the reprieve of a peaceful sleep, and horses of all colors will fill the green hillsides of my slumber.  They’ll be grazing, not galloping, just calmly grazing upon the luscious strands and enjoying the warmth that is tanning their backs, taking away the chill of the early morning.  Their manes might move with the slight breeze, couples will rub noses, and babies will snuggle up against their mamas.

 Just before typing this post I had a cup of Yogi Bedtime Tea.    Like I said, it was “one of those days”.  I haven’t been as diligent with my tea lately, so tonight it was time.  Sipping tea feels sacred.  It takes meditative moments to taste the subtle flavors. It isn’t brash like coffee (although I love coffee), but quiet.  It whispers to me as I drink and tells me to have a seat, to close my eyes and be done with the chores.  There is only so much one woman can do in a fifteen hour day; the tea reminds me of this.

Comfy and sparkly jeans, you're the best!
Comfy and sparkly jeans, you’re the best!

Tomorrow I will get to wear my beloved blue jeans to work.  It’s Blue Jean Friday.  I have them picked out already…my new favorite pair with rhinestones in the shapes of fireworks on the pockets, blue and turquoise stitching.  These jeans do my riding boots justice (just ask Maycee), and when I put them on I feel the wannabe cowgirl within me risin’ up inside.  I actually strut my stuff and sway my butt because I know I’m sparkling all over, and it’s grand! They’re probably the fanciest pair of blue jeans I’ve ever owned (from Walmart’s finest boutique), and I don’t usually do “fancy”, but blue jean fancy is different.

Yes, tonight just know I’m going to dream about horses, and I’m thankful that when I wake up it will be a new day, a different day, and that means that anything is possible.  Isn’t that just marvelous?  Thank God for blue jeans and bedtime tea.

At work, but feeling gooooooood! Uh huh!
At work, but feeling gooooooood! Uh huh!

Friends, I hope the weekend brings you hours of rest and splashes of light.  Life is short, so be happy and give a chuckle. XOXO-SWM

Black Cloud Be Gone!!!! (Classic SWM)

I highly doubt that too many employees have been given a sign such as the one reads above (minus the “Classic SWM), most certainly not by his/her boss. I’m one of the lucky ones. Or, rather, is it that I’m not so lucky? Lucky? Not so lucky? Well, geez, I just do not know, but I’ll side with the positive choice. I also just happen to go through what seem to be endless strains of unfortunate circumstances, varying in magnitude-some make me laugh out loud, some make me cry so hard my face becomes unrecognizable. .Which is why one sunny day, about a year and half ago, my boss called me into her office. Well, that’s not really why she called me into her office…backtrack…but I was in a “hitmewithyourbestshot” wave…the timing was beautiful. I walked in and there, taped to the wall behind the chair I was about to inhabit, was a sign. Rainbow letters, big and bold, shouted: Black Cloud Be Gone!!!! It was a day I will never forget, as my boss adorned me with the happy news that I had reached one week’s paid vacation and 6 days of sick pay status. Sing praises, hallelujah! Yes, Black Cloud, be gone with you, and right now. Since that day, whenever troubles seem to find me, and they often know my hiding places, I pull that sign out (of course I kept it).

Now, it’s sitting on my desk. Beneath my telephone. Staring at me.

Maycee’s been sick-very sick-for almost two weeks. This past weekend we had two ER visits encompassing an external ear infection, a viral fever, AND a common cold, none of which this mommy-nurse could disipher was causing the other, probably because in the end the doctor determined they were all completely unrelated illnesses. My poor baby’s body was just spent. In classic SWM fashion I fretted between being the best mom a working woman can be and being a working woman period. Classic SWM.

Add to that a strange bug bite (on my forearm) that hurt and itched all at once making an expanded red circle, a charley-horse the size of a golf ball stretching my right calf muscle beyond the bones, the check-engine light coming on in the car, and last-but-not-least, my outside waterhose faucet busting while trying to water the lawn and spewing water everywhere for an entire night…well, mommy’s body was done, too.

Nine days later, four days’ help from grandma-down-south later, and lots n lots of ear drops, Motrin, and fluids later, Maycee is indeed on the mend. Yesterday and counting, the bug bite is dwindling, the calf muscle is just about returned to it’s normal capacity, the check engine light was a false alarm, and the best neighbor ever fixed the faucet free of charge, Mommy is indeed on the mend, as well. Throw in a “I can’t handle the stress” shopping spree at our new Target last night (buyer’s remorse vacate the premises until bill time, please), even better.

Black Cloud, You’re Outta Here!!!!

Here’s to a fabulous, fretless weekend for us all. Be happy, and give a chuckle!