Pop Tarts & Coffee

I guess I could have titled this post “Candy & Soda Pop”, too.

Hiya, All!

I have a post waiting in the wings (actually, on my laptop waiting to be moved to a flash drive so I can put it on here) that explains where I’ve been the past couple of months.

To preface, I have been diligently scouting the vineyards as we inch closer and closer to harvest.  This job change has been the best thing I could have asked for and received at this juncture in my life.  Being outside on a regular basis and in and amongst nature has fulfilled me in a way I never could have imagined had the Universe suggested it personally many moons ago.

My “office”.

But, on top of being one busy single mom working two physically demanding (at times) jobs, I’ve had quite a few thoughts rolling through my mind that I figured I would share just because I can.

For instance, Maycee is growing up too fast.  TOO FAST.  She is testing make-up as soon as I turn my back, she prefers “laying out” to building sand castles on the beach.  She would rather stay home during summer break than go to the B & G Club and play “kiddie” games.  And, she is asking me way too many grown-uppy questions that make me want to crawl into a rabbit hole, even though I woman-up and answer them because it’s important to be open about these things.  Oh, and let’s not forget Instagramming and the fact that she receives requests from boys that were “just friends” last year in good ol’ 5th grade who now would like her to QUOTE-UNQUOTE date them because they will be entering 6th grade soon.  You know what that means?  If you do, please message me because I don’t see the difference from two months of summer, darn it.

Okay, the good news I’ve been pondering related to the previous paragraph is this: my budding pre-teen has informed me she is grateful her mom has had a crappy life when it comes to men! Ha!  Not that she is glad her mom endured a lot of heartache, but she IS glad I’ve shared everything from my past (to a degree) with her so that she knows not to make the same mistakes.  Back pedal, back pedal, back pedal.  Truth be told, I am an open book for a reason, and the reason is crystal clear based upon these rapidly developing situations.  She also has informed me that she thinks “dating” in grade school is “stupid” (agreed), and while she likes boys, she is not interested in following this peer-pressure-induced concept.

*Proud mom smiles.*

That’s right, honey, you just focus on your horse and all those ribbons!

Speaking of my crappy love-life, in a mind-blowing weak moment back in late spring I decided to re-open my Match account.  What was I thinking?!?!?!  Two years later, two years older, and one short-haircut into newfound freedom here’s what I’ve experienced: tragic humiliation with a capital HHHHHH.  Let me be clear that if it were not for the wonderful [married] male friends I have who prove that decent men exist on the planet, I would lose complete faith in the opposite sex.   Stomach-curdling only partially describes many of the profiles I’ve read.

Jimbob, 45-year-old man seeking 22-year old woman.  I’m athletic and toned and work out 8 days a week, consume 100 calories a day, and only drink to oblivion once in a while.  I’m not interested in a NSA (No Sex Allowed) relationship, so if that’s you-do not message me.  Oh, and speaking of messaging, because I am the most awesomest man on the planet, I’d rather we just meet in person and skip the messaging because if you are anything less than a Taylor Swift look-a-like, you are not worthy of my time.  Thanks, and best of luck, 40-something, short-haired single working mom-you’ll need it!

Match.com stinks.  Totally stinks. Half-way through my esteem-busting 3-month membership I stopped looking.  I had to remind myself of the definition of insanity…”Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”

My Match.com profile pic. Nope, no resemblance to Taylor. Shoot! Well, just bring me another Pop Tart, then!


SWM+Online Dating=Insanity.

Ahhhhh, back to my new old self, again.

Let’s focus on the actual love of my life.

You guessed it.


Yes, I have been loving my horse.   Loving, loving, loving!  I’ve taken to singing songs while I ride.   I think Chief likes it.  He seems to walk in time.  One of my favorite songs to sing is to the tune of Macho Man, only I sing Macho Chief.  You can hear me now, right?  “Ma-cho, ma-cho, Chief….You’ve got-ta be….a Macho Chief!”  Maycee is mortified when I do this, only making it that much sweeter.

We went horse camping and rode trails up rocks and the edge of mountains, and along (dry) riverbeds.  My kiddo and I are riding together, even.  TOGETHER.  Without discourse.  It has been exhilarating, and I have so much gratitude for the two horses we were given and for the riding journey we are traveling.  It is mind-boggling-at the very least- considering from where we came over the last several years.

I’ll be heading up Maycee’s 4-H Horse group this year, too.  Say what?! I know, I know…I don’t have enough on my plate, really.  And, the kid will be starting AYSO for the first time in August.  4-H leader and a soccer mom?  Goodie!  Maybe I’ll learn to referee the games just so I can wear one of the bright yellow referee outfits.  Hmmmm, that sounds like a grrrrreat idea!

So, I’m back in writing action for a little while in between bug hunting, checking grapes,  mucking stalls, and trying to get a little summer beach action.  Once harvest arrives, I will disappear again, but for now, I’m going to enjoy hitting the keys, eating Pop Tarts, and drinking coffee.

After all, I know I don’t have to worry about getting a date.


Single and content. See that lady behind me? All I’m missing is the umbrella!

Life is short, folks, so be happy, sing a song, and don’t blink lest your 2-year-old becomes a soon-to-be 6th grader.

Love, hugs, and chuckles!




Bloggedy, blog, blog, blog in 2014!

The Word Press status monkeys are at it again.  Each year, like the scary monkeys in the Wizard of Oz flying through the sky, they make their way to my blog, hovering, coming at me with this’s and thats, pointing out the obvious as well as the obscure.

Even though I don’t write for stats and never will, nor will I probably ever glean the “likes” of some of the larger fan-based blogs I subscribe to, I did enjoy noticing this year that traffic across SWM went up, more people signed on, and I gained quite a few new blogging friends along the yellow brick road.

My purpose for blogging is two-fold and will remain as such so long as we both shall live: to carry the message of survival with a smile to other single moms and to share my journey with those who’d like to join me-no matter what boundaries we cross.   Both of these, in turn, help me find my way each and every day as the tornado carries me to different lands.

I have no longings of meeting the Great Mr. Oz; there is nothing so big that I truly yearn for…only a little bit of peace found in between the lines and the ability to be the best mom possible-the most precious gift of any there is in this world.

So, Readers, I wish you sparkling red shoes, crowns of joy, and lots of chuckling in 2015!  Now, enjoy checking out my “Year in Review”, and also, meet the newest addition to our furry family, Katy.  Happy New Year!



Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,700 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 45 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Peanut Butter Blobbed

Photo op-click!  Love my grapes!
Agggggh….all the grapes are ripe! Time to pick!


Yes, it is harvest time at work, so I have like about a millisecond to write a post…that’s it…a millisecond. Are you ready? It’s going to be quick, but I gotta write. I just gotta!

I’m even using the “Quick Draft” to get ‘er done, and every time I use this feature I end up going back to the regular “write a new post” way because using the “quick draft” just seems like a set-up for crappy writing. Set-up or not, crappy writing or not, I am doing it. Ahhhhh, it’s okay, Kasey, you will survive!

I digress….because I’m so ding-dang-dong harvest-brained that I can’t think clearly.

And, this morning I walked into work with a gigantic blob of peanut butter on my shirt.  It took me 15 to 20 minutes to see it there in the bathroom mirror. Just enough time to say “hello” to the wife of one of our clients-she, donned in her Nordstrom’s dress with Armani perfume filling the air, perfectly painted on lipstick and gorgeously styled hair; me, with my peanut butter blobbed Walmart polo shirt from 2008, Ladies Choice deodorant, and hair freshly drying from the shower.

I cleaned the blob off AFTER we visited, which is when I noticed it and realized JUST HOW BUSY I AM these days.

So, there you go!

I love you all, miss you all, and will be “Quick Draft” writing and trying to read YOUR posts, as well,  until harvest ends (hopefully before November this year)…peanut butter blobbed or not!



2013 Helper Monkies ‘n’ SWM

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Again, the helper monkeys plague me.  But, at the same time, I enjoy them and all their silly plight!  So, we are leaving 2013 and preparing for the New Year.  Honestly, I’m not so sure I’m prepared or can prepare for anything that is to come anymore.  I think I would describe it more as “rolling with the punches”, “going with the flow”, and “hanging on for dear life”.  This past year has been quite a roller coast of highs and lows, from my daughter battling Anxiety Disorder at the age of 9 back in February (an ongoing fight, but one we’ve worked hard to overcome) to rescuing our first horse, Fancy, (a horse owner as a single mom, no small feat) at the end of September, with lots of life’s travels in between.

I want to thank EVERYONE who follows, reads, and comments on my blog.  I want to say with pure honesty that this blog helps me stay sane, and the supporters of it contribute to that sanity.  Lastly, I want to wish ALL OF YOU moments of peace, joy, and chuckling throughout 2014.  May your minds and hearts be open, as I hope mine to be, for only then can we feel the warmth of the light.


SingleWorkingMom (SWM)

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,500 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 25 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Be careful not to dwell…

Dwell /dwel/:

think, speak, or write at length about (a particular subject, esp. one that is a source of unhappiness, anxiety, or dissatisfaction).
I LOVE the single parent.  I do.  I have a respect for him or her unlike ever before since becoming one myself almost seven years ago.  When I began my blog it was important for me to purge my “unhappiness, anxiety, or dissatisfaction” with these cards dealt.  However, I wanted to do it in a way that chose to acknowledge the facts while harnessing the ability to move forward, regardless, with a positive spin.  I’ve grown a lot since this journey began, and my ability to DWELL on the difficulties of single parenting has dwindled.  I take this as a gift.  A HUGE GIFT.
I started following a Facebook page awhile ago dedicated to single moms, https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Jennifer-Maggio-The-Life-of-a-Single-Mom/110523905654162, if you’d like to check it out (there are single dads on there, as well).  It’s an open forum with affirming Bible scriptures and daily discussions on the [sometimes] unique struggles we face on our single parenting journey.  Of course, I relate a lot to what the women write and find comfort in the ability to say, “Yes!  That is so my life!”  But, one of the things I also try to do when I choose to comment on a post is to gently remind through my experience that we must not dwell on the negative.  Complaining, purging, is okay….to a point.
Muddling around in our own mucky waters is not healthy, doesn’t change our circumstances, and doesn’t help us find solutions.  It also keeps us from putting one foot in front of the other if we stay wet too long.  I’ve learned this the hard way, and I’ve learned that while I need to grieve and feel and accept, cry and scream when the moment allows, or drop down onto the bed in exhaustion,  I also need to dust myself off, stand up, and embrace what lies ahead-no matter how difficult the path. Pray to God, ask for help without shame, and steer clear of the “I cant’s”.  Seek,  and don’t stop seeking.  Believe,  and don’t stop believing.  Focus on the goodness of humanity rather than the opposite. Because I can, and I do, and so can any single parent out there.
On the concept of “Me time”:  many single moms say (and I’ve said it myself, so I’m lumping myself into this bunch) that there isn’t any time for “me time”.  There is NO WAY to get it.  But, there is…it’s how we look at it that makes the difference.  If we want “me time” to mean an afternoon out shopping with financial abandon, then, well, yep-it’s pretty difficult to achieve.  But, if we grab “me time” as reading a juicy magazine at the end of the day, or catching our favorite TV show for a change, or taking a long, hot shower once the kids are in bed, or waking up 15 minutes earlier than normal to just sit and listen to the silence, or dancing around singing an upbeat pop song while cooking dinner, then WE HAVE SCORED.  My mom once told me (or probably many times told me) that she never even considered “me time” when she was raising me on her own.  She didn’t even think about it….and I believe her.  I think this “self” concept is probably generational to my age group and younger-we are more aware now-a-days how important being intrinsically true is.  It salvages our souls.
So, I’m feeling grateful right now.  I’m feeling blessed to be continuing to learn and grow and move forward with a little bit of grace under my belt.  I want to encourage and support as well as be encouraged and supported as the days and months and years come.  Single parenting IS tough.  I have to dig deeply in my mind to remember what life was life “before”. But, I will not dwell on my plight, I will not make excuses, and this is the most LIBERATING benefit of having walked in my older shoes.
Thanks to all of you who follow my blog and share comments along the way.  I treasure this experience and continually try to remain open to what’s around the next corner, chuckling, of course!

Inspired Minds Want to Know

The rules: 1-Display the Award logo on your blog. 2-Link back to the person who nominated you. 3-State 7 things about yourself. 4-Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link back to them. 5-Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award requirements.

Back in the day (a whole long 2 1/2 years ago), I decided to blog about my life as a single working mom.  My best friend’s hubby was blogging through WordPress about being a stay-at-home-dad.  I loved reading his stories. Then, I watched the movie Julie and Julia about which a woman decides she will blog her way through Julia Child’s entire cookbook one recipe at a time, one day at a time.  These two events led me down the blogging road to a place I now consider my blogging home: Single Working Mom (SWM). 

I didn’t really know what would happen.  I didn’t know if people would read my words.  I didn’t know if I’d be able to touch another’s heart with the shared knowledge that in trudging this path we aren’t alone.  I didn’t know anything except that in my head I had much to say, I had experiences to share, and writing seemed to release the pressure of doing it all on my own.

Since starting this blog I’ve grown immensely.  I’ve healed tremendously. And, I’ve done so by building relationships in this computer-based world with people from various walks of life who have broadened my horizons and helped me see the light.  I no longer wonder what will happen when I write.  I know that connections will be made, feelings will be validated, and my life will be enriched beyond my wildest imagination!

I’m so happy to have received the nomination for the “Very Inspiring Blogger Award”!  Thank you so much, Shandra Harris.  Getting this nomination made my day and put a neverending smile on my face because, well, to me,  inspiring each other is blogging at its finest.

So, here’s the rest of what I’m required to do as a recipient of this awesome award:

Seven Things About Me:

1. I have a motorcycle license, and I owned a classic 1979 Honda 650 (rootbeer brown) before Maycee was born.

2. I didn’t want to have children when I was younger. Then, at age 30, I freaked my ex-husband out and decided, “Holy, Crap, the clock is ticking! If I don’t have kids I’m so going to regret it.” 30 days later I  was pregnant, and now I can’t imagine life without my daughter.  EVER.

3. I’m a musician.  I’ve been playing the piano since age 7, drums since age 14, and streel drums since college along with guitar and bass.  I toured with a 22-piece steel drum band when I attended Humboldt State and loved it!

4. I have an art degree.  Yes…a totally useless art degree.  But, it’s okay, and I’m at peace with my past as well as with my inner artistic self.

5. I’ve decided that the reason I could never make marriage work (tried 3 times and gave up) is that I thought I needed a man, but what I really needed was a horse.  Now, I don’t fret, I just ride off into the sunset….pure bliss.

6. I didn’t believe in God until I got sober.  However, there was absolutely NO other logical answer to my recovery. 14 sober years and counting I’ll preach this truth!

7. I’m not really turning 40 this August…seriously.  And, I’m not in denial either. Promise.

My Inspiring Nominations (in alphabetical order):

1. …from the bungalow-Chris writes from his heart…always inspiring.

2.  A Slice of Mudpie-Great mix of fun stuff and the reality of single parenting.

3. Hot Rod Cowgirl-If you like pics of breathtaking scenery and animals and heartwarming stories….she’s the gal!

4. My New Favorite Day-Just the title is inspirational, and Shannon’s journey is, too.

5. QBG_Tilted Tiara-Valentine says what she means and means what she says and says things I want to say and mean, too. And her Flash in the Pans are awesome!

6. Running from Hell with ElTalented indie writer who poignantly tells stories that need to be shared and heard.

7. Shandra Harris With Heart Wide OpenI’m new to her blog, but she reminds me to stay vigilent to my faith as well as who’s in charge (not me).

8. She’s A Maineiac-I can’t make it through the week without a laugh from Darla-you won’t want to, either! Her top ten lists ROCK!

9. Surviving the Madhouse-I love the Sunday Funnies!

10. Taking the World on with a Smile-My NY blogging buddy inspires me weekly; I freak out if there isn’t a post in my in-box by Sunday.

11. Transitioning Mom-She’s graceful in style and yet deals with the impending empty nest syndrome by guiding us right along with her.

12. The Lucky Mom-Lisha’s last post is a must-read…and then when you’re finished, go back and check out everything else, too!

13. The Monster In Your Closet-I could not complete my list without including my longest subscribing reader, Deb, as well as a woman who’s inspired hundreds of bloggers with me top of the list.

Yes, I know I didn’t quite make it to 15, but these are the blogs I read regularly and the people who implore me to keep on keepin’ on.  I hope you visit each and every one of them!

Reader’s, thank you for your support. Thank you for being a part of my journey. Now if your U.S. bound I hope you enjoy our country’s birthday tomorrow.  I’ll be with my sweet girl riding horsies and then barbequeing up some pork ribs before fireworks!  Yummy!

Now, remember, life is short so be happy and give a chuckle!



Happy 2nd Anniversary to Me!


Kasey and Hi C

Hi, Everybody!  Yes, it’s true!  I’ve been officially blogging for two full years. Can you believe it?  No?  Neither can I (smiling).  When I began this blog I think I had about three subscribers for most of the first year…no…maybe I had up to five or so (chuckling)…and only a handful more commenters. But, now, two years into writing about my life, my loves, my ups, my downs, my thoughts, and my take on the journey of being a forever single mom I can happily say I have 76 followers, 92 Facebook followers, and I’ve accomplished writing 98 posts thus far (make that 99 now), hmmmm, and I think I have a few more commenters, too.  Awesome!  Still not running with the big guns, but that’s A-Okay with me.

Blogging Wizard, oh, please show me the way...
Blogging Wizard, oh, please show me the way…

I write to heal, I write to explore, I write to work through things, I write to connect, and I write, ultimately, to help others realize they are not alone in this crazy world whether single moms, single dads, sahm’s, sahd’s, parents, not parents, or anyone along the spectrum.  There is light in any situation-if we wait, if we look, we will see it shining.  We all have a path, we all have something to share, and it’s been my pleasure and my joy to do that with all of you.  I’ve grown immensely from where I came as a newbie to WordPress.

So, here’s to another year of blogging the road of happy destiny…oh…wait…is that plodding the road?  Flogging the road?  Oh, maybe trodding the road is correct (wink)….well…no matter, I’ll be here whether my stats keep increasing or not.  You’re stuck with me!


Remember: life is short, so be happy, READ a lot, and give a chuckle.